The concept of happiness is so vague that most of us run after this mysterious phenomenon all of our lives. But how to be happy? Can you see it? Can you buy it at the nearest convenience store? Or does happiness come with lots of money?
If we look around us, we might find a millionaire who can’t sleep at night thinking how to make more money? Is he happy? If you ask him, the answer would be most likely no. So, how to be happy?
We don’t even know the answer. No one does. Science explains happiness as nothing more than a few chemicals reacting inside our brains.
But I can tell you one thing. Happiness comes from within. And it has a strong connection with satisfaction. You may find a glimpse of happiness when you’re content with your current status.
In this article, i plan to show you the path of how to be happy. What you must understand is that you are responsible for your own happiness. No one is going to serve it to you on a silver plate.
Extracts from my personal Facebook in December 2013
Tip 1:Don’t Give the Situation an Upper Hand
Happiness is often the opposite of distress. When we’re in distress regarding something, we cannot feel happy. At least that’s how the human brain is wired.
So, if you ever find yourself in a situation where everything is going against you, take a deep breath. At least it’s not the end of the world, right? Whatever is happening, it’s temporary. The situation will pass and you will rise like a phoenix again.
And never cling to the circumstances when they’re over. It’s the worst thing that you can do to your poor little heart. Consider them as lessons and try to learn from them. Happiness will follow.
Tip 2:Say Bye to Dependency to Learn How to be Happy
Did you know dependency on someone or something is the biggest happiness killer? When you look up to someone or some situations, they will let you down in most cases. Because at the end of the day, no one can know how to keep you happy except for yourself.
The sooner you accept the fact that you’re responsible for your happiness, the sooner you’ll be able to embrace it. Do what makes you happy. If your best friend cannot join you on the trip, go for it alone. Blaming him or her won’t bring you happiness. The trip might.
This brings us to Tip 3:, the question of how to be happy and blaming others doesn’t go well together.
Stop Blaming Others
It’s another huge reason people tend to be unhappy in life. We humans always try to escape reality by blaming someone or something. ‘I am unhappy because he did that’ or ‘I am unhappy because something happened’. Well, unless it’s something life-changing, why should it bother you?
Take responsibility and be accepting. If your best friend couldn’t join you on the trip, he or she might have something more urgent to attend to. Don’t think any less of you. It’s not always about yourself. You must be empathetic to people. And often, empathy is the key to find the answer to how to be happy.
Understand the Line Between Self Respect and Ego
In the current society that we live in, the line between self-respect and ego has blurred. Of course, the opinion on both these phenomena will vary from person to person. But we’re the same at our core.
If someone has a different opinion than you, they are not hurting your ego. They are just stating their point. Just because their opinion doesn’t reflect yours doesn’t make them wrong. And you can’t go into arguments to protect your ego. Only say enough to hold your self-respect.
Finally, end the conversation on a good note so that it doesn’t bother you for the days to come.
How to Be Happy? Be Thankful
We all have needs. It’s human nature to want to live a glorious life. So, we often feel unhappy about something we don’t have. But look around you. You have an abundance of things to be happy about.
You can start with the fact of being alive. Do you know how many people leave us every day? Or every hour? We can come down to seconds if you want. Being alive is the biggest gift mother nature has given you. Appreciate it. Appreciate the fact that you can eat and live a healthy life. The promotion you missed will come someday. Be patient. And most importantly, learn how to be happy.
Never Let Go of Integrity
In childhood, we are all influenced by our parent’s values and what society has taught us. As we grow up, we develop our own sense of integrity about what’s right in life and what’s wrong. One of the key components of happiness is keeping integrity intact.
We often forget who we are in the pursuit of money, fame, or other things. And sometimes, we might go to an extent where our integrity is compromised. Keep in mind, once it’s done, there’s no way to come back.
So, never let go of your integrity. Be true to yourself and never let anyone or any circumstance change that.
Control is Not the Answer
In our pursuit of happiness, we often forget that everything is not in our control. And sometimes, letting go is the only way to be truly happy. The more you’ll try to control something, the more it will get out of your hand.
Think of sand. The harder you squeeze it, the faster it slips through. The same principle applies to how to be happy in life. Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. Try and believe in destiny. What is meant to happen, will happen. You’ll suddenly realize your shoulder feels a lot lighter.
Final Words on How to Be Happy
If you’ve stuck to the article so far, you should realize that being happy is not that hard. All it takes is a little patience and understanding from your end. You are the only one responsible for your happiness in life. The sooner you start to take responsibility, the faster you’ll master the art of being happy.
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The views expressed here are for the author and do not represent any agency or organization.
Mugambi Paul is a public policy, diversity, inclusion and sustainability expert.
Australian Chief Minister Award winner
“Excellence of making inclusion happen”